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There’s no such thing as a bad massage… is there?

There’s no such thing as a bad massage… is there?

So this week I had my first massage in a very long time. Actually I haven’t used my RMT allowance at all this year and it’s September. Yikes! Now that I think of it, I’ve barely had any massages in my mommy life. And that’s huge!! I used to be quite a spa junkie.

Actually, if I must be entirely truthful, I did have a ton of massages in the first month after Murphyskid was born. But here’s why they don’t count… There was absolutely no element of decadence in them. They were completely therapeutic! Where’s the fun in that???

Post-baby massages are quite a common part of most Asian cultures along with body binding to help your body recover from childbirth and regain its original shape (which, ahem, some of us are still questing for – we won’t say who ;)). It’s usually done for four weeks straight. Bliss, I said, can’t wait. Twenty-eight massages in a row? Bring it on!

I never thought that two days in I’d be counting down to see when I’d be done.

In my defense it was only a couple of weeks after my emergency C-section and my body felt like it had been put through some sort of torture device (which I suppose it had!). And secondly, these massages were GRIM!

Look at it from the point of view of someone to whom a massage is usually in a beautiful spa. With fabulous scented oils. The masseuse (yes masseuse, I did live in Dubai prebaby remember) asks pretty much every 30 seconds if the pressure is alright and at the slightest wince, appropriate measures are taken to send you back to la-la land. There’s plinkety-plonkity music in the background, and essential oils in the burner. Sigh!

Cut to my postpartum massages. In my room, on a mat on the floor. With some of the smelliest oils in the free world. The only music was the clinking of the lady’s very loud jewelry. And there was only one option of pressure. #SoHardItMakesYouCry! To give it credit, it did sort out a lot of my niggling aches and pains. Though it did put me off massages for life! Well four years :P.

Yesterday brought all that screaming back. Then I remembered what it is I love about massages. I get to chill and almost forget I have a child and work and a phone. I forget I’ve forgotten how to pee without knee-high company and that there’s a pile of dishes waiting for me.

Someone’s only job is making sure I have everything I need for one hour. I get to drink weird and wonderful teas right after offered to me in hushed tones. And feel FABULOUS.

So I’m happily back in the world of massages, praise be! If anyone hears of the next big thing in the world of pampering, you know whom to call.

Carrots and Peace
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