How to help your child have positive experiences
This past weekend we had a family reunion on my husband’s side of the family. It was very lovely and great fun. So, so good for Muphyskid in particular. She met second cousins she didn’t know she had. There were birthday parties and pool parties, sugar and hugs galore. She was in a heightened state of excitement for almost the entire thirty-six hours we were away.
It’s the kind of experience I love when she has. Because it gives her incredible learning and wonderful memories. Especially in such gorgeous weather!
But life probably aligns nicely like that a handful of times.
For the rest of the time, it’s up to us parents to create experiences in which they thrive and grow.
As first generation immigrants to Canada, life has not been easy. Our strategy, if you can call it one, is that we envision the life we want, and then do our darndest to find the funds to live it.
‘Whistle while you hustle’, some say. We say hustle as much as you need to so you can live a life of happy whistling at the end of the day. In a hammock. On a pristine white sand beach with azure waters. In Bora-Bora.
Might’ve got carried away there! You get my drift, though… positive thinking 101.
The more we do it, the more we believe in the concept. Proof, pudding, eating, etc.
So quite often you’ll see us wistfully say things like ‘I need a holiday’ and then make Herculean efforts to facilitate it. In the end, the stars align, and things happen. Through love or luck or hard work paying off. To the observer, it looks like we’re living a life of unplanned excess. To us, it’s an expression of faith.
This. Too. Shall. Pass.
Light at the end the tunnel.
Dream the life you want. Then go get it.
We’re always careful, though. Each life altering excess comes with days of denying everyday excesses and subtle belt tightening. No Tom Sawyer tales for Murphyskid or anything but magic doesn’t pay for itself entirely. You need to buy a stake.
Sometimes we wish we could do more. That our child could have so much more than what we’re giving her. We beat ourselves up over it even.
We must stop!
On the drive to the weekend away for the reunion and back, we made a couple of pit stops. Each time we used the family washroom because it’s more convenient for a small child to use. She loved the automatic taps and towel dispenser and wanted to get us our towels. We let her each time. The little shining eyes and excited recounting of the event to her grandma who was travelling with us were a treat to watch.
To her, this was an awesome experience too! The-day-she-figured-out-how-to-use-automated-washroom-product-and-help-mommy-and-daddy-do-something.
It doesn’t matter if it wasn’t wrapped in satin and bows. It was new exciting and involved a responsive you that ‘got it’ to share it with her.
That’s all experiences really takes.
A bathroom in Dutton, Ontario, Canada.