For my husband on my 40th (yes mine, or the year of atleast)
You read right.
Long, ugly story. So we’ll only go there for 3 seconds. It’s the my-father-died-10-days-before-my husband’s-40th scenario. A wonder anyone even remembered the day.
The only reason we all did is because my husband is not easy to forget. He engages with you and your life so meaningfully, no matter who you are, that you can’t forget. On this particular occasion, he cared for my dad, nursing him alongside us, in his most intimate needs at the end of his life, after he was declared terminally ill, as if he was his own blood. I always thought nothing was stronger than blood until I saw this relationship. Powerful stuff. And I’m the connector… How awesome!
So we remembered. We didn’t do much, but we marked it respectfully, if not ceremonially.
There wasn’t mind space for the truly meaningful however. And I’ve always had things to say to celebrate him. So here it is, on another milestone year in our home…
M is an incredibly cool person. In so many ways. But most especially in his role as a significant other. He was born to be in a team. In such an elevating way. Being comforting when you’re skittish. Hopeful when you’re down. Firm when you slack off and strong when you’re weak. I totally, decisively, am a better person for him being my life.
And I found him the second time around too. How obscenely lucky am I?
I spend at least a part of every day feeling grateful. I really do!
What stands out to me particularly though is our sense of balance. He’s neat; I’m clean. I’m chaotically smart, he closes with finesse. I’m verbal of communication, he’s almost spiritual. I’m volatile, he’s serene. I’m quicksilver; he’s thoughtful.
And I like to think I get him.
Except for his obsessive need for organization.
I thought I was OCD, until I met him. My OCD is mild mannered. The kinda shit that gives you a home that looks nice and is clean a lot of the time. M however… makes your drill teacher look disorganized. Military precision, people, military precision.
On some levels it amazes me. I never tire of having someone so not cool with crumbs on the floor that I honestly don’t know what it feels like to walk on dirty floors. I don’t mind at all that stuff is always where it needs to be and there is no space in my house that ever grosses me out. That’s awesome. Hey, I’m OCD too, aren’t I?
But with that comes the need for shoes to go back in the cupboard, perfectly parallel. All except for the ones actually attached to your body. I could lose that. Totally over the bed needing to be made unless someone is physically in it. Oh, and what the heck… take hiding piles of laundry under said bed because his hatred for folding clothes wars with his need for zero clutter ;).
That kind of obsession with the organized just seems a little unusual to me. Not an ‘unusual’ I don’t respect mind you, because heck I do. The amount of intelligence involved in conceiving and precision involved in executing the ideas that hold his life up are mind-boggling. He is gainfully employed. A superlative, hands-on dad. A great friend. A helping hand to anybody. Tirelessly unselfish. I could go on…
So this here is an Instagram account I came across in a couple of articles including this one, belonging to photographer Brittany Wright, full of gorgeous images dedicated to his cuckoo, organizer side. It’s the stuff orgasms are made of, if I know anything about him.
This shit is #dope.
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I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you. Recently I have been finding my art all over the internet without my knowledge and without an explanation of where it came from. This is both illegal and such a pain to take care of. I wouldn't have known about this if it wasn't for you guys reaching out to warn me via email and through @instagram. Thank you for being such an amazingly supportive and loyal group of people to have around. You fuel my art and keep it in my name. This heart of heirlooms is for you❤️
All images reproduced with permission from Brittany Wright of @wrightkitchen who kindly let me use what I want to truly capture my husband’s love of organization. If you haven’t already heard of her, you should check her work out; it really is insanely calming! And a shout out to my friend PR whose curation helped me find this artist.